Keeping the Gospel at the Center of Mentoring
The ball hit the front of the rim for the fourth time, bounced hard off the concrete, and rolled toward the edge of the court.
Isaiah stood at the free-throw line for a second with his hands on his hips. The court was behind an old apartment complex, with faded white lines, a bent metal rim, and a net that had been hanging by a few strings for as long as anybody could remember. A few younger kids were playing on the other end, and cars moved slowly through the parking lot behind us.
Isaiah had missed plenty of shots before. Everybody does. But this was not really about the shot.
He jogged after the ball, scooped it up, and threw it toward the fence harder than he needed to. Then Isaiah muttered, “Man, I suck at everything anyway.”
I had heard him say versions of that sentence before.
Sometimes it came out when he got a bad grade. Sometimes it came out when he lost a video game. Sometimes it showed up after an argument with his mom or a rough practice at school. Isaiah had a way of turning one hard moment into proof that something was wrong with him.
I picked up the ball and walked it back toward the free-throw line. I wanted to say something encouraging. I wanted to tell him to keep shooting, to stop being so hard on himself, and to remember that he had made plenty of shots before.
But I also knew that none of those words would reach deep enough if I kept the conversation only about basketball.
Isaiah was not really asking whether he could make a free throw. He was asking whether failure meant he had less worth. He was asking whether his mistakes were the truest thing about him.
I had spent enough time with Isaiah to know that those questions had been forming in him for a long time. He had heard criticism. He had watched adults around him get frustrated. He had experienced enough disappointment to believe that being good at something was the safest way to earn approval.
For a moment, I felt the old hesitation rise up in me. I knew this was an opening to talk about Jesus, but I also knew how easy it was to make a conversation awkward by forcing something that did not fit. I did not want Isaiah to feel like I had been waiting for him to fail so I could turn the moment into a sermon.
Then I realized that avoiding Jesus would be just as dishonest.
If I believed the gospel was actually good news for Isaiah, then it had to have something to say in a moment like this.
I handed him the ball and said, “You know what I think is happening right now? You missed a shot, and your brain immediately started telling you that you are a failure.”
Isaiah looked down at the ball.
“That is not the same thing,” I said. “Missing is something you did. It is not who you are.”
He was quiet for a while. Then he asked, “But what if you keep messing up?”
That question took us somewhere deeper than basketball. It gave us room to talk about sin, shame, grace, and a God who does not love people because they perform well. I did not say it perfectly. I probably used too many words in some places and not enough in others. But I stayed in the conversation, and Isaiah stayed too.
That afternoon did not solve everything in his life. Isaiah did not walk off the court with every question answered. But we gave the gospel a place at the center of the relationship instead of treating it like something that had to wait for a more spiritual moment.
When Good Mentoring Leaves Jesus on the Sideline
For a long time, I told myself that consistency, fun, and presence were enough.
Those things matter deeply. Kids need adults who show up. They need somebody who will listen, laugh, remember what matters to them, and stay connected when life gets difficult. I have seen the power of a ride after school, a shared meal, a conversation in the car, and a mentor who simply keeps their word.
But I also had to admit that I sometimes used those good things to avoid a harder responsibility.
I avoided talking about Jesus because I did not want to say the wrong thing. I did not want to make things awkward. I did not want a mentee to pull back or think I was trying to force something on them. I would tell myself that I would bring faith up later, once the relationship felt stronger or the timing felt more natural.
The problem is that later can become never.
The longer I waited, the more pressure I put on the conversation. Jesus became a topic I treated like a fragile object on a shelf. I cared about faith deeply, but I acted as if it was too risky to let my mentee see how much it shaped my life.
When I do that, I accidentally communicate that the gospel is an extra. It becomes something I bring up only after we have talked about school, friendships, sports, behavior, goals, and everything else that feels easier.
But the gospel is not an add-on to mentoring.
It is the center of why we mentor.
We are not only trying to help kids become more disciplined, confident, kind, or successful by the world’s standards. Those things can be good outcomes, but they are not the ultimate goal. We want young people to know Jesus, understand the love of God, wrestle honestly with sin, receive grace, and discover that their identity is rooted in something deeper than performance.
That does not mean every hangout becomes a Bible lesson. It means Jesus is not absent from the relationship.
The Gospel Meets Kids in Real Life
One of the things I love about Jesus is that He consistently met people in the middle of ordinary life.
He met fishermen at work. He spoke to people at meals. He used seeds, storms, lost coins, family conflict, money, hunger, fear, and everyday questions to reveal the kingdom of God.
That matters for mentors because our mentees already live in a world full of openings.
A missed shot can lead to a conversation about worth.
A bad grade can lead to a conversation about identity.
A conflict with a friend can lead to a conversation about forgiveness.
A difficult family situation can lead to a conversation about what it means that God is near to the brokenhearted.
We do not have to manufacture spiritual moments. We need to become attentive enough to recognize the moments already in front of us.
With Isaiah, basketball gave us a language for something he was already carrying. He understood what it felt like to miss. He understood what it felt like to want another chance. He understood the pressure of trying to prove himself.
So I could tell him that the gospel begins with honesty. Every one of us misses the mark. Every one of us has sin, wounds, selfishness, and places where we cannot fix ourselves. But the gospel does not end with us trying harder to become acceptable.
The gospel says that God moved toward us.
Jesus lived the life we could not live, died for our sin, and rose again so that our failures would not have the final word. Grace does not pretend that sin does not matter. Grace tells the truth about sin and then tells an even bigger truth about the love of God.
That was the message Isaiah needed. Not that missing a shot was no big deal, and not that he should simply believe in himself more. He needed to know that his identity was not sitting on the rim with every missed attempt.
You Do Not Have to Deliver a Perfect Speech
One reason mentors avoid gospel conversations is because we feel like we need to explain everything perfectly.
We worry about questions we may not be able to answer. We worry that we will use the wrong words, move too quickly, or make a young person uncomfortable. We feel pressure to turn one conversation into a full explanation of the whole Christian faith.
But that pressure does not come from Jesus.
Our job is to be faithful, not flawless.
We are not responsible for opening a mentee’s heart. We are not responsible for making every conversation land exactly the way we hoped. God is already at work in ways we cannot see, and our role is to be honest about what has changed us.
That frees us to speak simply.
You can say, “My faith changes how I think about this because I believe God does not give up on people.”
You can say, “I have made plenty of mistakes too, and Jesus has changed how I carry shame.”
You can say, “I do not know every answer, but I know God has been faithful to me.”
Those statements are not complicated. They are personal, truthful, and connected to real life.
Kids do not need mentors who sound like professional theologians. They need mentors who are willing to let their faith be visible.
Let the Conversation Grow Over Time
The gospel is not a one-time presentation we check off a list.
Mentoring gives us the gift of ongoing conversation. We can talk about one part of the story today, revisit it next month, and return to it again when life creates a new question.
With Isaiah, we started with failure and worth. Later, we talked about why people hurt each other. Another time, we talked about forgiveness after a friend betrayed him. Months after that, Isaiah asked why God would allow certain things to happen in his family.
None of those conversations stood alone. They built on one another.
That is often how faith grows. A young person hears a truth, tests it against their experience, asks another question, watches whether their mentor actually lives by it, and slowly begins to see whether the gospel can hold the real weight of life.
The goal is not to rush a mentee into giving the answer we want. The goal is to create an honest relationship where questions are welcome and Jesus is not hidden.
A mentee may disagree. They may be skeptical. They may not know what they believe yet. That does not mean the conversation failed. It may mean they trust you enough to be honest.
Five Ways to Keep Jesus at the Center
Let your faith come up naturally
Talk about your relationship with Jesus the way you talk about other things that shape your life. Mention how faith affects your decisions, your priorities, your hope, and the way you handle hard days. That helps a mentee see that faith is not a separate compartment.
Notice the openings in ordinary life
Pay attention to the moments that already carry deeper questions. A disappointment, argument, fear, win, or mistake can become a natural bridge to conversations about identity, grace, truth, and hope.
Share one piece at a time
Do not feel pressure to explain everything at once. Focus on one truth that fits the moment. You may talk about God’s love one week, brokenness another week, and forgiveness the next. Trust that a bigger picture can form over time.
Ask what they think
After you share, leave room for your mentee to respond. Ask, “What do you think about that?” or “Does that make sense to you?” A gospel conversation is not a lecture. It is an invitation to wrestle honestly.
Pray after the conversation
When you drive home, bring the moment back to God. Thank Him for the chance to talk. Ask Him to keep working in the places you could not reach. Prayer reminds us that transformation belongs to God, even when faithfulness belongs to us.
The Court Was Never Just a Court
When I think back to Isaiah standing on that cracked court, I do not remember giving him a perfect explanation of the gospel.
I remember deciding not to step around the deeper question.
I remember choosing not to let the conversation stay at the surface.
I remember realizing that if Jesus had changed my life, then Jesus needed to be part of the way I talked about failure, worth, pain, hope, and the future.
Mentoring is not only about spending time with kids. It is about introducing them, through our words and lives, to the One who sees them fully and loves them completely.
We do not need to force the gospel into every sentence. We do not need to create artificial moments or carry the burden of getting every word right. But we do need to be willing to speak when real life opens a door.
The court, the car ride, the school hallway, the restaurant table, and the difficult conversation can all become places where a mentee hears good news.
That is what it means to keep the gospel at the center. We show up faithfully, listen carefully, speak honestly, and trust Jesus with what happens next.
Discussion Questions
What fear has made you hesitant to talk naturally about Jesus with your mentee?
What ordinary part of your mentee’s life could become an opening for a conversation about identity, brokenness, grace, or hope?
What is one simple, honest way you can let your mentee see how your relationship with Jesus shapes your life this week?
